Just Because I'm Blonde
by Rachel23
Summary: Gap-filler for "Inheritance"-this story was written strictly for amusement purposes. Alex "reacts". Please R&R!


Read all notes/warnings/headings, etc. before proceeding. Please  
  
keep arms, feet and all other protruding body parts inside the vehicle  
  
throughout the duration of the ride. Thank you.  
  
Title: Just Because I'm Blonde.  
  
Author: Rachel  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Category: Comedic (hopefully) Gap-filler/ficlet for "Inheritance"  
  
Disclaimer: Surprise, Surprise. I don't own them. They're NOT mine. I  
  
wish they were. But if wishes were horses we'd be knee deep in crap.  
  
All I own are the voices in my head.  
  
Summary: Alex reacts to. you know what? Just read and find out what  
  
she "reacts" to.  
  
Spoilers: "Inheritance" (but I think that's pretty obvious, isn't it?)  
  
Feedback: Yes! Feed me!  
  
Archive: If that's what floats your boat, go right ahead.. Just let  
  
me know where.  
  
Author's notes: This is my first attempt at a "gap-filler" as well as  
  
a first for any kind of ACTUAL episode-related fic. So I'm just  
  
warning you that it might not be all that good. So you can't hurt me,  
  
since I told you in advance. And another thing- I know this has a  
  
snowball's chance in hell of actually happening in the episode (or  
  
any other episode for that matter) and it would be completely out of  
  
character for Alex. But I've decided to stray from what's "in  
  
character" for amusement purposes.  
  
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The courtroom was hushed as Alex Cabot sat behind the table and  
  
listened to the defense attorney, Margot Nelson, question her first  
  
witness-an expert geneticist. She found it hard to concentrate,  
  
seeing that she believed their whole "inherited rapist gene" defense  
  
was a load of crap. Her focus, however, was brought back to where it  
  
was properly needed when the testimony strayed from its original  
  
topic.  
  
"Objection, Your Honor. How did we go from talking about inherited genes to inherited behavior?" She asked, bewildered at where Mrs. Nelson was going with this.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'll try to speak slower and use smaller words so that  
  
you can keep up." Margot scoffed.  
  
"Dr. Coffey has not specifically proven inherited behavior. Are we  
  
just going to make up theories as we go along?" argued Alex.  
  
"No, I think it's better that we take the word of an assistant  
  
district attorney over that of a scientific expert." The older woman  
  
replied sarcastically.  
  
Oh no. She DID NOT just say that too me. She did say that. How DARE  
  
she say that! Just because I'm blonde she thinks I'm some kind of  
  
airhead, doesn't she?! Heh. I'll show her who's the dummy. Alex  
  
thought as a sly smirk graced her face.  
  
She stood up and began her cross-examination, still in awe at the  
  
fact that the old hag at the defense table had actually insulted her  
  
in the middle of court. She ended her line of questioning by stating  
  
that in truth, Dr. Coffey "really can't speak to the topic at all."  
  
Summations were begun and finished, Alex STILL reeling from the  
  
scenario that had played out. She and Margot exited the courtroom at  
  
the exact same time, however, from exits at separate ends of the  
  
hall. Alex spotted Margot talking to some unfamiliar faces, all the  
  
while with that ever-present pompous smirk she always has plastered  
  
across her features. Alex stomped towards her, and as Margot opened  
  
her mouth to express some meaningless, insincere "no hard feelings"  
  
gesture, Alex simply screamed "YOU BITCH!" and punched her square in  
  
the face, sending her to the ground. Gasps were heard, giggles were  
  
barely suppressed.  
  
As Alex lunged towards the older attorney a second time, Olivia ran  
  
up behind her and pulled her back.  
  
"Olivia, just let me go, so I can give this old witch the beat-down  
  
she so justly deserves!" Alex announced through clenched teeth.  
  
"Yeah, right. Like you could really hurt me, you scrawny little  
  
slut." Margot argued while brushing the dust off of her skirt and  
  
wiping the blood from her nose. Alex just screamed and broke free  
  
from Olivia's arms and tackled the other woman, throwing punch after  
  
punch.  
  
"Alex! Alex! Knock it off! Alex, get off of her! This isn't going to  
  
help the case! Alexandra Cabot, get off of her right now!" Olivia  
  
screamed in a motherly fashion as she tried to pry Alex off, but she  
  
was only successful in getting an elbow to the sternum. Instead, she  
  
called a security guard over, who barely heard her over Alex's  
  
screams and Margot's howls.  
  
"You think that just because I'm blonde that I'm some kind of dumb,  
  
air-headed whore that only got the job she has by sleeping with all  
  
the men in the higher positions?! Apologize NOW you stupid old  
  
bitch!" Alex yelled. Once the security guard finally got Alex off of  
  
the other woman, her hair was a mess and her face was red with the  
  
heat of anger.  
  
"You are one crazy bitch, you know that, Cabot? Crazy, crazy bitch."  
  
Margot declared as she was being helped up by other security guards  
  
and Alex was being pulled away by Olivia and the same brawny guard  
  
that had pulled her off Mrs. Nelson.  
  
"We'll just see who's the idiot when the verdict comes in." Alex  
  
announced as she straightened her suit and followed Olivia in the  
  
other direction. As the two women stepped out onto the courthouse  
  
steps, the security guard approached once again, and tugged on Alex's  
  
sleeve.  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Cabot, but I'm going to have to arrest you."  
  
"What the hell?!" both women shouted.  
  
"You just assaulted Mrs. Nelson. You need to be taken into custody."  
  
"I'll take her. My squad will deal with it." Olivia offered.  
  
"I don't know about that, Detective."  
  
"Please, just let me deal with this." Olivia said. She pulled Alex  
  
away and walked quickly to her car before the guard had a chance to  
  
reply.  
  
"Thank you so much, Liv." Alex sighed.  
  
"Not so fast, Alex. There are going to be consequences for what you  
  
just did. I'm going to have to tell Cragen, who in turn, will tell  
  
Donnelly." Olivia explained.  
  
"But Olivia! All I did was give that bitch what she deserved!"  
  
"I understand that, Alex. But maybe you should of thought of what  
  
might happen before you got your revenge on her in front of dozens of  
  
witnesses." Olivia said with a slight smile. "By the way. where'd you  
  
learn to punch like that?"  
  
"I used to take tae-kwon-do. My father wanted me to know how to  
  
defend myself. My mother just sat and whined about `violence not  
  
being the answer'." She answered, ending with giggle and a roll of  
  
her eyes.  
  
Olivia called the squad room on her cell phone and explained the  
  
situation. As soon as they entered the station house, the other three  
  
detectives were surrounding them.  
  
"Hey Muhammad!" Munch called out jokingly while the others just  
  
laughed and stared in disbelief that their innocent little Alex had  
  
not only gotten in a fight, but was the one who had initiated the  
  
brawl. Cragen appeared in his doorway just as Alex rolled her eyes  
  
and shrugged off Munch's comment.  
  
"Miss Cabot, I'd like to see you in my office. NOW." He declared.  
  
Alex sighed and walked into the office. She stood and crossed her  
  
arms, waiting for whatever lecture she was about to receive.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking, attacking a defense lawyer in the  
  
middle of the courthouse?! Are you out of your mind?!" Cragen  
  
accused.  
  
"You weren't there, Cragen! She was ASKING for it!" exclaimed Alex.  
  
"I know defense attorneys are rats, and that you hate them. Hell, I  
  
hate them too. And Olivia told me what she had said to you during the  
  
trial. But that doesn't mean you can haul off and jump her! Now, I  
  
called your boss. She wants to see you in her office, pronto."  
  
Alex huffed and walked out of the office and left the squad room.  
  
Alex arrived at Donnelly's office and knocked on the door.  
  
"Get your ass in here." She heard from inside. She entered the room,  
  
prepared for any punishment she was about to get.  
  
"Alexandra, what the hell is your problem?"  
  
"She deserved it, Liz."  
  
"I'm sure she did. But I still just spent 20 minutes on the phone  
  
with Mrs. Nelson, convincing her not to officially pressing charges  
  
against you."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Don't thank me yet. because that's not all I have to say. I do HAVE  
  
to punish you, you know. Even though I wish I would have gotten to  
  
see you use that old hag as a punching bag." Liz said with an  
  
innocent looking smirk. Alex allowed a smile to creep across her face  
  
as Liz continued. "You're suspended for a week. And don't ever do  
  
this in front of witnesses or without me again."  
  
"I'll call you and invite you to join in next time, I promise." Alex  
  
joked.  
  
"Good. Now get out of here. Go home. By the way-you look like hell  
  
Alexandra. But in a good way."  
  
Alex just sighed and exited the office. I bet Liz could do some  
  
pretty good damage on that piece of shit Nelson, she thought as she  
  
went to her office to gather her things. Hey, a week long vacation.  
  
doesn't sound too bad.  
  
THE END 


End file.
